that 'aha' moment

So luckily I'm not in a position where I have to frequently write essays anymore (you know, besides the long winded texts I send to my mom to try to convince her that I'm a fully functioning adult that isn't just blowing all my cash on australian koala and kangaroo souvenirs and lollies) but this is how I'm weirdly feeling about life right now. I've tricked myself-- working 6 days a week, maintaing a social life, cooking mostly healthy things and going to the gym, keeping in touch with relatives 9,000+ miles away, getting 8 hours of sleep and I'm just absolutely surprised. Does it all come together at some point or is this just a fluke? And if so, can I have this fluke for the rest of my life? I don't know if I'm adulting correctly or if I'm just starting to believe my own bullshit-- but I'm loving it.

a collection of things this expat loves about ireland

As a precursor I must mention that the island of Ireland is split into two different countries. Although it is geographically the same land mass, it is politically two different places: Northern Ireland, a part of the UK who use the GB pound as their currency, and The Republic of Ireland/'The South'/Ireland which is part of Europe and use the Euro. This undoubtedly makes life difficult when you accidentally cross the border and your phone company insists on charging you for all the international roaming you've been doing and you can't pay bridge tolls because you don't have spare euro change lying about. Mostly though, it makes for a good story. Borders aside, here's a small collection of what I love most about Ireland and why it has a special place in my heart.

• CASTLES. LET'S START WITH CASTLES. If you live in Ireland, chances are you live roughly 15 minutes away from either a castle, a manor, ruins, or a historical building that is unfairly beautiful and yet, nobody bats an eye.
• That the Northern most point/county of Ireland is actually politically a part of the Republic of Ireland making it a part of 'The South'. The northern most place is in the south-- WHAT. (County Donegal, here's a crude map)
• FATHER FREAKING TED.
  
• Tea, tea and more tea. Tea as a social engagement tool, tea as encouragement, tea as reassurance, tea as the completion of breakfast, tea as an event, tea as a good morning hug and a goodnight kiss, tea with Mr. Kipling viennese whirls, just tea.
• Arriving at George Best airport and being greeted by Samson and Goliath, the amazing bright yellow cranes that built the Titanic. Also just realising that yes, the Titanic was built in Belfast! (As many Irish people like to say, the Titanic was fine when it left Belfast for Liverpool :P).
• Craic. Who doesn't love craic? Pronounced 'crack' it's basically a slang term for banter, or fun. People will frequently ask each other 'What's the craic'"as a 'How's it going?' kind of sentiment.
• A full Irish fry: eggs, bacon, sausages, beans, pudding (occasionally), tea and of course, fresh soda bread (although in all honesty I prefer potato bread.) Sometimes also includes mushrooms and a fried tomato.
  
• Literature. Ireland has produced so many great writers: Samuel Beckett, James Joyce, C.S. Lewis, Oscar Wilde, W.B. Yeats, Bram Stoker, Jonathan Swift. Honestly, the list goes on. You will never run out of wondrous things to read.
• THE SERIOUS NATURAL BEAUTY AND HISTORY. Have you ever taken a flight over Ireland? It is gorgeously green and it is amazing to see how many beautiful things nature has put on that tiny island. Cliffs of Moher, Ring of Kerry, Slieve League, Giant's Causeway, Lough Corrib, Dingle, Connemara in general...

And while I meant to post this around St. Patrick's Day (whoops!) I'm sure the sentiment still stands: Ireland is wild and wily but so incredibly wondrous. And I love it.

sometimes you happen upon a video you haven't watched in years... and it's amazing.

love love love flo + the machine (and kate's crazy good voice!) in other news, my life is now consists of being at work or getting lost in books. over 50% of my day was work and another 5% was reading. the last 45% is going towards basic hygiene, sleep, eating and commuting. so where am i finding the time to write this? i'm not. i'm totally typing this while i'm asleep. (also please don't do the maths on this post. it doesn't make sense. i am totally getting more than 2.7 hours of sleep... but it definitely doesn't feel like it.)

notes to myself #3:

"Everyone has a secret world inside them. All of the people of the world, I mean everybody. No matter how dull and boring they are on the outside, inside them they've all got unimaginable, magnificent, wonderful, stupid amazing worlds. Not just one world. Hundreds of them. Thousands maybe." ---- Neil Gaiman

explaining doctor who to people who don't watch it should be a sport

and whoops, sorry i have been mia. i am literally always at work. my bad! but happy st. patrick's day?!

in today's round of: let's panic about that really specific thing, we have TAX SEASON

The charming part about being an American citizen is that the US taxes based on citizenship, not on residency. The EXTRA charming part about being an American citizen is that the education system teaches absolutely nothing about how to do those taxes especially when you find you have become a professional expat (lol) who hasn't actually resided in the US for a full tax year for more than 5 years. Alongside that, I'm on a mission to figure out how to file taxes in the country I do reside in (or you know, pester my co-worker, the accountant, to have a look at them) But here, enough whinging. Let's get to the point of this post:

HELP, WHO DECIDED LETTING ME BE AN ADULT WAS A GOOD IDEA?

(help, my 'to be read' pile is still out of control)

Stardust by Neil Gaiman - ★★☆☆☆
This little story first crossed my path as a film, which I watched completely unaware that it was based on this novel. The film has absolutely everything that enchanted me: adventure, pirates, stars, witches, magic, inheritance and succession issues (lol) and a touch of comedy (thank you, Robert De Niro). So when I picked up the book for the first time I was excited to see what extras I would find inside and enoy what they had left out of the film. The truth is, I never got past 30 pages until this year and what I found was a little disappointing. Gaiman is an amazing writer, he creates worlds with beauty, interest and just a dash of wit. The thing is that I had the film comparison in the back of my mind throughout reading and to me, the film was just a bit more full.

My Little French Kitchen by Rachel Khoo - ★★★☆☆
Generally, I don't count cookbooks towards my reading goals but I absolutely devoured this one (no pun intended). My mother loved Rachel Khoo from the minute she found out about her 'little Paris kitchen' AKA: the restaurant Rachel opened in her apartment where the maximum capacity for diners she served was a whopping two people at a time. In this book she travelled the regions of France to enjoy and spin their signature dishes. The entire concept of travelling and eating local cuisine is a great basis for cookbooks. Nobody cooks like the locals, right? Recipes of particular enjoyment to my tummy: Red Wine Roast Chicken, Pan Fried Niçois Ravioli and Ham Hock & vegetable soup.



Spark Joy by Marie Kondo - ★★★☆☆
I already know what you're thinking. 'Do you really need a book to teach you how to tidy?' Nah. I generally enjoy cleaning, but this book goes beyond cleaning and logistics of how many times you should dust a month and helps you feel genuinely happy in your space. The bottom line of this book is to keep things that spark joy, which quite frankly was a revelation to someone who tidies by utility. From there, you should display and store items where you can frequently see the things that make you happy. There's a lot more to the KonMari methods-- folding guidelines and some interesting anthropomorphising but those were the two most valuable messages I received.

Trigger Warning by Neil Gaiman - ★★★★☆
And back to Neil Gaiman! Short stories are my favourite for the beginning of the year (I find I can't concentrate on a full length novel with all the newness) and this one-- with just a bit of sci-fi and horror hit the spot. Honestly, I first spotted this book in a bookshop in Belfast and I knew I wanted to read it simply from the cover. There stories are diverse and while some don't feature actual monsters, they did make my brain think and step outside it's comfort zone.

notes to myself #2:

The more I think it over, the more I feel that there is nothing more truly artistic than to love people. People are often unable to do anything, imprisoned as they are in I don’t know what kind of terrible, terrible, oh such terrible cage. Do you know what makes the prison disappear? Every deep, genuine affection. Being friends, being brothers, loving, that is what opens the prison, with supreme power, by some magic force. Without these one stays dead. But whenever affection is revived, there life revives.

If only we try to live sincerely, it will go well with us, even though we are certain to experience real sorrow, and great disappointments, and also will probably commit great faults and do wrong things, but it certainly is true, that it is better to be high-spirited, even though one makes more mistakes, than to be narrow-minded and all too prudent. It is good to love many things, for therein lies the true strength, and whosoever loves much performs much, and can accomplish much, and what is done in love, is well done.

---- Vincent Van Gogh

lumos maxima and hufflepuffs galore

I first read Fantastic Beasts and Where To Find Them (and it's companion, Qudditich Through The Ages) when I was 8 years old. That's fifteen years since Newton Scamander came into my life. So why does the nine month wait until November seem so agonisingly long? Luckily I have this terribly short teaser trailer to tide me over (and over and over and over).

I know Fantastic Beasts isn't a Hogwarts-centred film but I'm particularly happy that we're moving away from the Gryffindor bias and finally getting a Hufflepuff point of view. Perhaps more people will start to identify with Hufflepuff house and the brilliant witches and wizards it produced-- Newt Scamander, Nymphandora Tonks, Cedric Diggory, Teddy Lupin, etc. My opinion on Hufflepuff house was probably best explained by Rowling's own daughter: 'I think we should all want to be Hufflepuffs.'

Now, excuse me while I continue my fangirling.

reading in twenty-sixteen:

Simple fact, I love reading.

It's something that I've always enjoyed. Sure, as a child I also entertained sports and art but reading is what I felt most happy doing. If I was in a car and not driving, I would have a book in hand-- oblivious to whatever top 40 was playing. I went to midnight releases and analysed books in between classes with my best friend. To this day you would be hard-pressed to find me without a book in my bag and I check out more books than my local library is comfortable with (I'm not even sorry). The thing is that sometimes my good intentions are simply that. Due dates fly by and I'm not more than 100 pages in. I take note of the book, mentally promising that I'll be back to finish it as I place it into the book drop-- but that tends to not always work out. So this year for my reading challenge, I'm coming back for those books. I'll also probably be dabbling a bit in book'd out's reading challenge for variety's sake.

The magic number this year? 24, or 2 books a month. Here's the list so far:

January

• (15) Stardust, Neil Gaiman
• (28) My Little French Kitchen, Rachel Khoo*

February

• (21) Spark Joy, Marie Kondō
• (24) Trigger Warning, Neil Gaiman

March

• (02) Fangirl, Rainbow Rowell
• (13) Cinder, Marissa Meyer
• (19) The Light Between Oceans, M.L. Stedman
• (30) Uprooted, Naomi Novik

April

• ??

* = Normally I don't count cookbooks, but I actually made 3-5 things from this!

the realities of being a casual worker in retail

tl;dr: Sometimes you have 40+ hour work weeks, other days you end up smothered in popcorn and books.

Once upon a time I had a job that required me to work the typical 40 hours-5 days a week deal. As a highly left-brained person, the structure and order that schedule provided simply delighted me. It was easy as I knew when and which days I was free, how early I needed to be up (4 AM), and when I needed to be asleep (8-9 PM). I fell absolutely in love with that job and never wanted to leave. Of course, all good things must come to an end (for one reason or another). These days, I'm employed casually-- which used to be an issue for a weird-workaholic like me. I like to be busy-- to feel as though I have a purpose and to feel tired at the end of my day and yet, I'm loving casual employment. Instead of alarm clocks and half-remembered morning showers, I can wake up at 5 AM and not make any efforts to get out of bed until two hours later. I can have hot sauce covered popcorn for lunch and read for hours then follow it up with countless more hours of writing. For the first time in a while, I'm feeling efficient creatively. That's not to say I'm particularly good at any of this right brain madness-- writing, painting, cooking, but to create things with my own two hands is so fulfilling. So while I may frequently find myself at a loss without constant work, the reality is now I have the time to figure it out.

notes to myself #1:

"Beginning today, treat everyone you meet as if they were going to be dead by midnight. Extend to them all the care, kindness and understanding you can muster, and do it with no thought of any reward. Your life will never be the same again." ---- Og Mandino

imagine my shock when i ordered pancakes for the first time in europe.

There's nothing a pancake stack can't fix, right? Heart-aches, headaches, alcohol induced-aches, the common cold (maybe that last one is a stretch) so I thought it might be just the trick to fix a sudden bout of winter-induced homesickness. It was baltic levels of freezing when my half frozen limbs and I ducked into a place that looked like it might serve breakfast. I'd just finished up my first 9 AM Introduction to Archaeology class which I was hilariously late for... (a week late to be exact, but that's another story for another time) and these pancakes were the only thing on my mind for a good two hours.

Imagine my shock.

No, go ahead... do it. Imagine my shock when my so-called pancake stack arrived. What arrived was a sad lifeless display. They were flat, tough, horrifying caricatures of pancakes. They were crepes.

So no, I didn't end up with the wondrously tall and fluffy, perfectly golden stack of pancakes I was craving (adjective overload alert) but I did end up with a lesson learned. Always make your own pancakes. Here's the gist of my sad sad lesson:

250 ml milk
125 g plain flour
1 medium egg
1.5 tbs of granulated sugar
a pinch of salt
1.5 tbs of butter, softened
4 teaspoons baking powder

And please, for goodness sake don't eat them until they're all in the oven, warmed up. I promise, the stack is worth it.

emotional trauma at the hands of a paperback

When I move, I don't tend to take books with me. They're heavy, I own a kindle and I frequent libraries, but one story I can't live without is Markus Zusak's The Book Thief. I obtain it in every country: second-hand, fresh from the book store or from a friend. Today I opened my copy to skim through and this caught my eye: “My arms are killing me. I didn't know words could be so heavy."

This book just gets me.

hello, is this thing on?

Since I was a child, I've had this weird yet comforting relationship with the moon. Not so incredibly weird where I grew disillusioned and decided to talk to it (but really I should say her, shouldn't I?) but the fascination has always been there. I buried myself in books and stories about Artemis, Hecate, Luna, Selene and lunar deities all around the world. My fascination drank every word I could find on moon phases, cycles and eclipses. From the wolf moon to the cold moon, I was utterly enchanted-- a goner from the day my mother told my about la luna and the deal sealed by Endymion himself. I do not look to the moon for imaginary guidance (however much I wish that actually worked) but as purely childlike optimism and comfort and though I know myself to be reckless and fickle, one thing that I do not leave and that does not leave me, is the moon.

(unless you know, there's a lunar eclipse. but we're not being that pedantic, alright?)